Generally I have a hard time with the end of the year. It’s like a perfect time to reflect on how much I haven’t gotten done with my life. This year is no different… but I’m also trying to take more inventory of the good stuff that has transpired. So with that said let’s have the top 10 things going into ’10:
10 – Kanye West impersonates ODB at the MTV awards… And instantly makes me a fan. Then gets embarrassed and disappears from the lime light. Give him a break – if you can’t get drunk off henny with Joe Jackson and whatever that strippers name is and act like a maniac at the MTV awards… then I don’t want to be a rap superstar.
9 – Tracy Morgan is making big money.
7 – Barak Obama… Still president. Not assasinated (except for his character). Still enjoying chicken.
6 – Drake got a record deal – you A&R guys should have listened to Ben Gaffin.
5 – Mastered roasting a whole chicken.
4 – Bally. That’s all. Well maybe alligator Ballys. Fingers crossed.
3 – The Clipse did something spectacular. Please see Clipse Popular Demand ft Cam ASAP.
2 – After 2 years of me being here, It only took Squishy a week to discover that the best Pioneer in the city is only 5 blocks away from my place. Yum
1- Tiger Woods reminded us all that no matter how much money you make, niggas still like chicken – ya feel me! Tiger, I eat chicken a lot. I can enjoy the finer foods as well. You know, tuna fish, duck, crackers, Swiss, bread.. I also wear expensive clothes. I’m like you. The thing is my man, I’ve learned a lot from eating so much chicken. I’ve learned that you can’t eat it everyday. It’s just not healthy. I’ve also learned that your fingers get greasy. They do. And if you happen to be wearing a Ralph Lauren button up or driving an escalade that day you’ll probably get it greasy. I guess what I’m trying to say is wash your hands. Well wash your hands and don’t act like you aren’t out sleeping with a bunch of hoes and cover for your wife when she chases you with a golf club and you wreck your escalade. Because if you cover for her then you look like a herb. A herb with a wrecked Escalade, upset sponsors and grease all over your Polo shirt. Just go wash your hands, delete the slags phone number and remember that you are the best at a white mans game… And if you need advice, seek the best – R Kelly.
It’s December 27, my birthday is in a few days. I’m going to Todd’s to fry some fresh wings. Yo’ Tiger and Barack, feel free to stop through, but can you pick up Yeezy on the way… And a bottle of Henny? Thanks.
Rock.
